Media Text Essay Review

 Davis Rop, P4, 9/10/2024:

SAMPLE 1:

NEGATIVES:

1. Rather than dividing the essay into five different parts, the author divided the essay into three different parts instead. This includes the first scene, which they claimed to be “The woman writing down her bank statements and tearing it into tiny pieces” to her entering the bathroom with said papers. The second scene is the woman throwing the papers down the toilet to her turning on the shower, and the last scene is claimed to be, the woman bathing until her death. Given how the student’s third scene covers over half of the extract, it makes sense that nearly half of the essay is the third paragraph that covers the third scene.
2. The essay is rather informal. The essay lists everything, as depicted by the constant use of transition words such as, “the next shot, the scene begins, etc.” In addition, there are several grammatical errors, such as, “close up” rather than “close-up” and several overly long sentences.
3. The student poorly handles the topics covered in the essay. On several occasions, there are claims the author makes that are never explained again, such as the thesis where it says, “a young woman entering the shower expecting to be cleansed, and only to find out that she would be murdered, bathing in her own blood,” assuming the woman was writing bank statements in the first body paragraph, and assuming in the concluding paragraph that the woman was in her home.

 

POSITIVES:

1. Despite everything the student incorrectly assumed, the student also covers several parts of the excerpt that perfectly elaborate on what Hitchcock was trying to convey with certain scenes and shots. For example, the student mentions the woman’s life going down the drain, her feeling safe when she entered the shower, Hitchcock wanting to make the audience feel uncomfortable, and something happening when the woman was on the right hand side of the screen before being stabbed to death.
2. The essay is well-organized. The student constantly gives points before describing what the shots mean and elaborating on what Hitchcock was intending to do with each shot.
3. The student also made the essay incredibly detailed and incorporates plenty of terminology. The student constantly mentions the shots and describes what happens in said shots.

 

SAMPLE 2:

Three quotes that represent macro-analysis are:

• “Further indicating that the numbers are so important that they must be disposed of by means other than tossing in the garbage.”
• “The quick close-ups reinforce the nature of a stabbing – continuous quick piercings of the body over an elongated time as opposed to a quick, painless death.”
• “This infers that everyday life continues, despite the violent acts that just took place inside the bathroom.”

SAMPLE 4:

LETTER GRADE:

            Given that the original essay was considered as an “A,” I would generously give my essay a B grade. Like the essay, I feel I did a decent job of describing the shots of the scenes and describing Hitchcock’s intentions behind them, and that Psycho being one of my favorite movies of all time helped me greatly with the essay. However, I feel like I missed some key details, like Marion being on the right side of the screen or what the shower head represented. As a result, I think I earned a B on this essay.

ORIGINAL PARAGRAPH:

“After writing and ripping up her paper, Marion went into the bathroom to flush the paper down the toilet and undress so she can take a shower. Hitchcock used a close-up shot when Marion flushed the papers down the toilet to foreshadow Marion’s life figuratively being “flushed down the toilet.” Hitchcock then used a close-up shot when Marion was undressing to show how she was becoming more and more anxious as time progressed.”

REWRITTEN PARAGRAPH:

            “When Marion entered the bathroom, the first thing she did was rip up the paper and throw it in the toilet, further demonstrating the significance of the paper and that it was something she clearly didn’t want anyone else to see, as that was the reason, she decided to both rip up the paper and flush it down the toilet. This could also be used to symbolize Marion’s life flushing down the toilet given her age and all the people who cared about her. Marion then undressed to take a shower, and a close-up was used on her legs and her top half to imply that she was indeed naked. Knowing what happens afterwards with Marion being brutally stabbed to death, her nudity is meant to show comfort and mainly how she was in a vulnerable, defenseless position.”